Ask Dr. Robyn – Teaching Citizenship to Kids


What has Happened to our Values?

What has happened to our values?

 Society today is soft, That’s right soft, Pooh bear soft.

I keep on thinking about that soft drink commercial, you know the one where the actor regresses back to a time where they had big hair and the music was great, you know when life was simple, our values were strong and we worked damn hard for everything we got, remember those times, unfortunately most people in the world today don’t.

Most of today’s generation expects everything handed to them on a silver platter with instant success and immediate results, well as we know expecting and getting don’t happen without hard work.

Technology today is awesome with the advent of computers, video games, HD televisions with 300+ channels to surf that help make our lives easier and more comfortable and lazy, we spend way too much time on our butt’s, no wonder we are becoming obese, sick and dying. We now have a generation of kids that for the first time in human history may die before their parents, this is a scary proposition.

What has happened to our values, hard work, respect, discipline and tolerance we seem to have lost these somewhere along the way. We are constantly bombarded with negativity, our kids have less than ideal role models to choose from, no wonder they have low self esteem, little to no work ethic and vague values.

Fortunately there  is a place that still maintains and teaches the values and work ethic that society is severly lacking, that place is at a credible Martial Art’s school one that teaches life skills and character development not just the kicking and punching.

To rediscover those lost values for yourself and family and get in the best shape of your life you owe it to yourself to take a hard look at Martial Arts.

Don’t you think it’s time you gave yourself and your family an unfair advantage in life.

Master Bell

Martial Arts…Way Beyond The Sport!…

Martial Arts…Way Beyond the Sport!

What really separates Martial Arts from other sports and activities?

Many of us view Martial Arts as just another sport or activity or worse yet, something that’s violent and barbaric. It is often put in the same category with mainstream sports and activities such as soccer, baseball, football, etc. This couldn’t be farther from the actual truth.

 Unfortunately with the way martial arts have been portrayed and sensationalized in today’s society by our media and Hollywood this has not delivered its true message.

Martial Arts are truly way beyond the fighting and violence.

The values and benefits found in Martial Arts are beyond the sport. This is mostly due to the history and nature of the arts. Many values and traditions are passed down from teacher to student such as honor, pride, respect and discipline to name a few. These are not found in other activities and you would be hard pressed to find them in today’s society.

Today’s modern Martial Arts school takes those values even a step further by teaching life skills in their curriculum such as focus, concentration, confidence to name just a few. The schools that teach character development and leadership go above and beyond the sport. Top notch character development programs such as POWerful Words have revolutionized the industry and have truly made Martial Arts more than just kicking and punching.

Getting yourself and your family started in Martial Arts is one of the best decisions that you will ever make and your best personal investment.

 So if you are looking to get in the best shape of your life or build your child’s self esteem do yourself a favor and give Martial Arts a try. I promise that you won’t be disappointed.

Master Tim Bell

A SuperShow Message From Dr. Robyn

Why Does My Child Keep Quitting?

Is your child quitting everything they start? Need a Commitment Overhaul?

Here is a letter from a parent to Dr. Robyn Silverman asking about why her child keeps quitting his activities. What’s interfering with her child’s commitment level?

Dear Dr. Robyn,

I hate to admit it, but my child is a quitter. Knowing the Powerful Word of the Month at our school this month is commitment, it seemed that now was the perfect time to ask what’s going on here. I don’t want to raise a quitter. Have any ideas on why a child quits everything they start?

–Jan K, Baltimore, MD

The question of commitment and quitting comes up every time our Powerful Words schools present Powerful Words like commitment, determination, attitude, or goal-setting. As Powerful Parents, we want our children to show commitment and determination. So what’s making them quit?

Children quit for all different reasons. Some children feel bored while others feel overwhelmed. Some children have unrealistic expectations that they are going to be performing the kind of martial arts, gymnastics, swimming, or other sport that they see “in the movies” or in the Olympics on the first day that they attend. Other children see “today’s activity” simply as another activity that they do—easily interchanged with football, basketball or dance lessons– so why stick with one thing? Still other children feel invisible to the instructor, picked on, misunderstood or scared when they take class.

The first major reason for quitting is the instance of a curriculum-based clash. Simply put, when children feel overwhelmed or under-challenged, they will want to quit. After all, when something is too difficult or too easy, it isn’t fun anymore! The over-challenged child may feel as though he cannot keep up, catch up, or otherwise progress at the pace that the other children in class are progressing. The under-challenged child may feel uninterested, disinterested, or just plain bored. You can determine this if your child would rather play with friends than go to class or fights you on practicing when they used to find it exciting to do so. Whatever it is, there is clearly a clash between the child’s learning level and the curriculum they’re learning at this time. These children will surely start looking for other ways, whether it is in football, hockey, dance or marching band, to fill their time and hold their interest– sometimes, they just keep moving from activity to activity looking for something to hold their interest. It’s important that we delve into this issue with our child because it’s easy enough to move our children to a different class, get them extra help, or have them take some extra classes to address this issue.

The second major reason for quitting is the case of the value-based clash. If you, as a parent, don’t value what the child is learning at their current activity, the child will often sense it and want to quit. For example, if you regard their current activity, like martial arts or gymnastics, as “just another stop on the way between football and piano,” the child will too. After all, a child will want to quit something if it has little or no perceived value to the parent. Children tend to take their cues from their parents—so when Mom and Dad don’t care, neither will they. As parents, we need to make sure to check our own attitude when determining why our children might be quitting. If we can adjust our own behavior and attitude, our children will too.

The third major reason for quitting is the often elusive personal-based clash. When children or parents feel uncomfortable at an activity, uncomfortable around a coach or teacher, uncomfortable around another child or another parent who is there at the same time, or undervalued by staff, they will likely want to quit. Perhaps there has been a misunderstanding or a miscommunication. Boundaries may have been breached or buttons may have been pushed in some way. Perhaps the most common personal clash is when the child perceives that the teacher or coach doesn’t “like him” or “care about him”. It’s vital to find out if something happened between your child and another person in the class so that the issue can be addressed and any misunderstandings can be cleared up.

The fourth major reason for quitting is the instance of the situational-based clash. While the above reasons have a negative undertone causing a “falling away” or a “falling out,” situational clashes are due to an actual lack of money, resources, or ability to continue. When families do not have the money to pay for lessons, the car to get their children to your class, or the person to bring the child to your school, they will likely need to quit. There may have been a divorce or a death, a new job opportunity, and illness or a lay-off that caused this situation to arise. Schools and sports facilities are often very sorry to see these students leave, given that they would stay if they could.

Finally, the fifth major reason children might quit is…because they can! We want to make sure that children aren’t creating a pattern of quitting that is being supported by their parents. Sometimes, we are just too overprotective or too easily swayed by our children’s attempts to get out of fulfilling their promises. While it is easier to have children quit something that making them stick it out til the end, children learn their patterns early. If they see that they can quit without consequence, they will learn this as a fact and quit whatever feels uncomfortable, challenging, frustrating or boring to them as they develop and become teens and adults. It may not seem like a big deal when they are 8 years old but it certainly becomes so when they become 18 or 28 years old! Set positive patterns now so that they learn commitment and the benefits of seeing goals and promises through to the end.

Make sure to ask questions rather than lecture. Why do they want to quit? Did anything happen in class? Are they bored? Overwhelmed? How do they feel about their friends in class? Their teachers? Is the curriculum too hard? Too easy? And also, remember, to watch what you say and you do. If you are quitting your activities, or someone else of influence in your home or family is doing so, children will learn volumes about the loop holes in commitment. Take your cues from your child’s Powerful Words instructors this month and expand on what they are talking about in class with your children. Discuss it at the dinner table and in the car. Tell stories about your own triumphs and how you stuck with something even when it was difficult. Talk about the importance of seeing the end and setting goals. And of course, set the precedent that your family always finishes what they start– everyone should have that “no quit, go-for-it attitude!” that helps each member to lead with commitment– and your children will surely learn to follow suit.

Dr. Robyn Silverman

Ask Dr Robyn Tips on Teaching Kids Commitment

The Powerful Word for July – Commitment