Brainwashed: Seven Ways to Reinvent Yourself by Seth Godin

I was introduced to this article by Master Tom Callos of the New Way Network, Master Callos isn’t your average Martial Arts Master he believes in challenge and change, he believes in making a difference in our own world and the world around us, he believes that we as martial artists and instructors have a duty and that duty is to have the courage to be the change, have the courage to contribute and have the courage to step outside the box and explore, he believes what I believe.

Reading Seths article you may be inspired, you may be confused, you might even be taken back but the one thing I can guarantee is that it will make you think and possibly take action.

Isn’t that what Martial Arts is…Taking ACTION…Being COURAGEOUS

Inspiring others is…Self Defense

Brainwashed: Seven Ways to Reinvent Yourself
by Seth Godin

“Years ago, when you were about four years old, the system set out to persuade you of something that isn’t true.

Not just persuade, but drill, practice, reinforce, and yes, brainwash.

The mission: to teach you that you’re average. That compliant work is the best way to a reliable living. That creating average stuff for average people, again and again, is a safe and easy way to get what you want.

Step out of line and the system would nudge (or push) you back to the center. Show signs of real creativity, originality or even genius, and well-meaning parents, teachers and authority figures would eagerly line up to get you back in line.

Our culture needed compliant workers, people who would contribute without complaint, and we set out to create as many of them as we could.

And so generations of students turned into generations of cogs, factory workers in search of a sinecure. We were brainwashed into fitting in, and then discovered that the economy wanted people who stood out instead.

When exactly were we brainwashed into believing that the best way to earn a living is to have a job?

I think each one of us needs to start with that.

Click HERE to visit Seth’s site
Click HERE for the complete article

How to deal with an Adult Bully…

By Anthony Fiore, Ph.D.
The Anger Coach

Sixty-four year old Bill was a married retired executive who sought anger management help on the insistence of his wife Ann.

After 24 years Ann could no longer tolerate his bullying behavior toward her, their children, and their friends. He would often relate in an insulting, “get in your face” way using a loud, intimidating voice that frightened her.

She often felt like a little girl who was being scolded. He gave her orders with no thought for her feelings or how others were reacting to his behavior. If he did not get his own way, he would often pout or withhold needed finances from her.

Tactics of the adult bully
As this case illustrates, emotional bullying occurs when someone tries to gain control by making others feel angry or afraid. It is often characterized by yelling, and name-calling, sarcasm, mocking, putting down, belittling, embarrassing or intimidating. Ann said that they had no friends because of Bill’s behavior. He was forced into early retirement by his company due to alienation of upper management.

Bullies often have personality disorder
Like many bullies, Bill had a deep sense of insecurity about himself. He completely lacked empathy or the ability to perceive how he was negatively affecting others.

He honestly didn’t see himself as the problem and was constantly in dismay when others around him were devastated or offended by his behavior.

Bill had what is known as a “narcissistic” personality disorder. He was only capable of interpreting events from his perspective. Pre-occupied with himself , he had little regard or understanding of the feelings of others.

Can bullies change?
While research shows that most bullies are unable to make deep changes to their personality, they are sometimes able to modify their behavior to the extent that they are more tolerable.

Usually, the motivation to change is inspired by outside influences such as employers, spouses, or children . Bill, for instance, desperately wanted his wife back as he truly loved her to the extent he was able to experience love.

Other bullies we have seen in anger management classes decided to change at the threat of losing their job. Jim, a line supervisor in a chemical plant, fell into this category.

The case of Jim
An “old-school” manager, Jim often yelled and threatened employees to motivate them to produce more, thinking his behavior would be seen as positive by the company executives.

Unfortunately, too many employees complained, resulting in his being referred to Human Resources for intervention. Turns out, Jim didn’t want to be seen as a bully, had no awareness others were seeing him that way, and most certainly didn’t want to lose his job of over 25 years.

Thus, he was highly motivated to acquire more effective skills to relate to employees while still maintaining a high rate of production.

He did well in anger management as he learned our tools of anger control— particularly the tool of “empathy” which includes increased social awareness (seeing how he is coming across to others) as well as more sensitivity to the feelings of others.

Unfortunately, not all bullies are as responsive to intervention as Jim was. Many bullies remain bullies because they don’t see themselves as the problem. In this case, you may have to learn how to cope with their behavior, if you are in an unfortunate situation such that you need to continue to be with them but survive.

Four Ways To Cope

  • Focus on the positive attributes of the bully and try to ignore the negative parts. For instance, Bill had a very sweet and generous side to him when not being a bully— a side Ann could learn to focus on to survive the unpleasant times.
  • Be confident and look your bully in the eye. Speak in a calm and clear voice while asserting yourself by naming the behavior you don’t like and state what is expected instead.
  • Create a distraction or change the subject. Try using humor or a well-chosen word to disarm the bully.
  • Give the bully’s ego what it needs. For instance, Ann learned to praise Bill more and give him more credit and acknowledgment for things he did do well. While this tactic is a little manipulatory, it never- the- less worked well to decrease the number of times Bill bullied her. And it allowed Ann to survive a difficult situation.

Tony Fiore, Ph.D, is a practicing psychologist and anger management trainer in Southern California.  He can be reached at 714-771-0378, on the web athttp://www.angercoach.com or by email: drtony@angercoach.com. He publishes a free monthly newsletter “Taming the Anger Bee”, and is also co-author of “Anger Management For The Twenty-First Century” which explains the eight tools in much more detail. Century Anger Management (www.centuryangermanagement.com) provides certification training for anger management professionals.

Copyright © 2006 Dr Tony Fiore,The Anger Coach www.angercoach.com All rights reserved. Permission granted to reprint this article on your website without alteration if you include this copyright statement and leave the hyperlink live and in place.

What Would Life Be Like in A Post Apocalyptic World?…

The Book of Eli

Today my wife Pauline and I went to see the movie “The Book Of Eli” and right from the start you could sense what life might be like on a post apocalyptic planet.

The movie starts with most life on the planet being eradicated because of a massive world war that destroys our protective ozone layer causing high levels of radiation to hit the surface, those that survived the devastation were sheltered underground at the time and resurfaced later on when the immanent danger was over. Our main character Eli is on supposed mission from god to take The Book of Eli to the west coast, The Book of Eli is the only known bible to survive the destruction, but with very little around in the way of food and water life becomes a daily fight for survival, Eli trades KFC Wet Naps and other hard to find goods left over from our previous world for water and other services, he hunts what he can in the way of birds and small prey, many others turn to cannibalism, human rights and law and order don’t exist and it’s everyone for themselves.

Watching the movie you experience what the world might be like without the things and stuff that we all take for granted such as clean water, fresh healthy food, a roof over our heads or even a lowly iPod shuffle, these things become the new worlds gold bullion, lot’s of people die or are maimed in the pursuit of them.

This movie is definitely a wake up call as to what might be in store for us if we continue to rape our planets resources and abuse the environment. Like Avatar it has strong undertones and messages throughout both verbally and visually.

Luckily this was only a movie but if we seriously don’t change our ways it could very well become our reality.

The No Impact Experiment…Are You Ready?

“Self Motivation Techniques That Work”

1. Talk to get motivated. One of my favorite ways to create energy and motivation is to talk. Once I tell my wife about the article I’m going to write, I’m out of my slump and back at the keyboard. For less inspiring tasks, talk about the larger goals it will help you achieve.

2. Stimulate your desire. Seeing their potential future motivates many to sign up for get-rich-quick plans. The really good salesmen can put you in your imagined dream home in minutes, and make you feel motivated to do anything to make it real. Learn to be your own salesman.

3. Stimulate your pain. One Neuro-Linguistic Programming technique is to mentally link pain with not acting. It is like when finally stop hitting that snooze button on the alarm, and get up because you think you might lose your job. Just imagine any bad consequences that may occur if you don’t do what you need to do.

4. Find a true interest. If you have no interest in what you are doing, it might mean you need to do something else. If it’s just a task you dislike, but it needs to be done, relate it clearly in your mind to the greater goal. I don’t like to drive, but I don’t have a motivation problem when I’m driving to the mountains for a vacation.

5. Boost your energy. You need energy for self motivation. Coffee may help for a while, if caffeine doesn’t create other problems for you. Exercising and sleeping well help too. Yo should also watch out for sugary foods. The “sugar blues”kill motivation. Once you find energy boosters that work for you, make a list and keep it handy for future use.

6. Take any small step. I’ve found if I commit to raking up one bag of leaves, I soon want to finish all the yard work. Taking any small step towards your goals is a great self motivation technique. To make this even easier, break larger goals down into small steps.

Motivation techniques really do work, but don’t ask me how to get motivated to use them. In any case, you were motivated enough to read this far, so you’ll be fine. Oh, and humor is number seven. A good laugh can overcome that feeling of being overwhelmed that sucks away self motivation.

Kids building better behavior and self-esteem, one karate kick at a time – Quincy, MA – The Patriot Ledger

Kids building better behavior and self-esteem, one karate kick at a time – Quincy, MA – The Patriot Ledger

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5 Ways Not To Set A Resolution…

5 Ways Not To Set A Resolution…

By Mike Dolpies

Studies reveal that a good portion of New Year’s Resolutions fail! Why? There’s not enough space to attempt to answer that one here. But one thing I know for certain is that when a “New Year’s Resolution” does not become reality it damages the self-esteem and slows forward momentum toward success. You don’t have to be Dr. Phil to figure that one out. So is there a secret to making a positive change in the new year? Here are five tips for you…

1) Do NOT set a resolution! The secret is to be a goal setter and goal getter all year long. After all, isn’t a new year’s resolution simply a goal to do something, kick a bad habit or fulfill a desire for a better life? Every resolution is set with the strong psychological drive to either move away from pain (those pants not fitting) or move toward pleasure (looking better on the beach this summer).  Turn those desires into goals instead of weak resolutions that are out the door by Valentine’s day.

2) Balance Ambition With Reality . Imagine the new year was limitless. Based on your current situation think of an ambitious but realistic goal. You know what is realistic and ambitious for you – the key is to find the happy median. Not realistic, it won’t happen and you’ll set yourself up for disappointment. Not ambitious, you won’t be challenged and you’ll lose interest.

3) Write it down as if it already exists. The key is to write your goal down in the first person present tense. “I earn $X per month.” “I have a thirty-three inch waist.” I fit into ___ size dress.” Writing goals in this way communicates to your subconscious mind that you are serious about the goal. The key is repetition so do this exercise a few times per week.

4) Set a deadline. Attach a date next to the goal. This again is an area where you need to be ambitious but realistic. And what happens if you don’t reach the goal by the deadline? Just set another deadline, no big deal.

5) Look for clues and take action. Once you start setting goals and programing them into your subconscious mind you’ll become aware of opportunities to reach your goals. It’ll be like when you buy a certain model and color car. All of a sudden “everyone has the same car you do.” No, the cars were there all along – you just notice them more now. The same thing happens with your goals. You’ll notice opportunities that get you closer to them because you made your mind aware. When these opportunities are presented to you the next step is to act on them. Remember, without action your goals will end up like everyone else’s resolutions – gone by Valentine’s day!
This year, set goals and not resolutions!